Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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