I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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