Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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