His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
