Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize