Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
