3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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