He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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