Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
