When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
