She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
