Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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