The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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