At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
