question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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