i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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