I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
