Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
