I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
