Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize