so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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