So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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