Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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