put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize