I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
