i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
