What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
