im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
