If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize