I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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