nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
