Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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