well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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