; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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