Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
