office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
