Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You were trust falling into bushes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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