it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
