The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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