just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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