the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
