Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
