I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
