did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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