i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
