Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize