it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i dont even know how to be here
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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