just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
