Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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