A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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