from now on my penis is your penis
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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