there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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