Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
