So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
as a side note pls kill me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
