I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
