were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize