Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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