i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
