Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
