i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
