Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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