Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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