i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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